Unknown
by Dervla
Summary: Charlie gives into temptation. Can Jack pull him back for the edge of breakdown? Jack Charlie Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Unknown

**Title:** Unknown  
**Rating: **Pg-13 (may go up)**  
Pairing:** Jack / Charlie  
**Summary:** Charlie gives into temptation. Can Jack pull him back for the edge of breakdown? Jack / Charlie Slash.

**Chapter:** One  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

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Charlie sat at the entrance to the cave and shivered. He'd never felt this cold before. His legs pulled tight against him, and his arms wrapped around them, he did his best to conserve what heat was in his bones and stop shivering.

Deep down Charlie regretted that he was here, hiding from everyone. But the call was to strong. Charlie couldn't resist much longer. He looked down at the plastic bag in his hand. Locke's words echoed in his head, telling him he was a moth, and something about choice.

Charlie ignored him. Slowly, but surely, he spread the powder out with practised ease. Closing his eyes, he quickly inhaled and allowed the drugs to spread through his body. A smile appeared on his face as it entered his blood stream.

Taking in what was left on his hand, Charlie closed up the back. His shivering stopped, and he felt heat creeping through his body. Feeling much better Charlie climbed back down the tree, and walked towards the camp.

It took him about half and hour to realise he was lost. Looking around Charlie noticed none of the trees look familiar, "But then, how does a tree look familiar?" He questioned himself.

In the distance Charlie could hear the faint rumble of the sea. He chose to keep going. Eventually he would reach the beach; he just hoped it would be the right one.

Charlie pulled himself the final stretch to the beach. He felt relief flood his body as he recognised the camp. This didn't last long as he felt the urge for the drug return. Shaking it off he walked towards the camp, straight in Jack.

"Oh … oops. Sorry Jack." Charlie almost stuttered, not looking him in the face.

Jack looked at Charlie, a little disappointed and hurt that Charlie avoided his eye. "You okay?"

"Fine" Charlie muttered as he pushed past Jack.

Jack watched him go, not noticing Kate approach. She grabbed his arm, "You coming?"

"Yeah…yeah" Jack muttered distractedly as he glanced in Charlie's direction once more, and then turned to leave for the caves with Kate and Locke.

&&&

Charlie continued on, resisting the temptation to turn back to look at Jack, just to check he'd moved on of course.

"Charlie," called Claire, "where you been?" She rushed over to him, dragging him into a hug.

"Just walking"

"Interesting?" She groaned slightly.

"Claire? You ok? What was that?" Charlie face paled slightly as he pulled her close, his right arm wrapped tight around her waist.

"Just the baby. Been kicking a lot recently." She pushed his arm off. "I'm fine Charlie. Come on we'll sit down."

She brought him to her tent and they sat. For almost an hour they talked, but as the hour past Charlie's craving intensified. Eventually it came to dinner time and Charlie brought Claire out so she could talk with Shannon and Kate.

Making some crappy excuse about needing to go to the caves, Charlie wandered off. Once he felt he was far enough from the beach, he wandered of the path, to a clearing on the right. Sitting down on a tree branch, he pulled out his bag.

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About 3 hours after Charlie left the beach, Jack returned from the caves, looking for him. He walked straight to where Claire sat with Shannon and Kate. "Hey! You know where Charlie is?"

They looked up at him. Claire pulled herself to her feet, "You mean he's not at the caves?"

"Not that I saw. Did he say he would be?"

"Yeah," She replied, "said he needed water or something."

"Oh," Jack looked uneasy, "Maybe I just missed him."

"That's not very like you." Kate said. She pulled him of to the side, "You need him for something?"

"Just wanted to check on something."

"Drugs?"

"The thought hadn't crossed my mind, but now that you mention it…" Jack trailed off.

"He wouldn't!" They turned to Claire. "I trust him!" Tears already filled her eyes. Shannon put her arms around her.

Kate moved forward and looked to Jack, "Go find him. Make sure he's ok." Kate looked at Claire. "And he will be!"

Jack nodded in agreement and walked off towards the caves. As he traced the path he walked slowly, looking to the left and right. About 10 minutes into the path he thought he saw movement to the right. Jack held his torch out so he could see the entrance to a clearing.

Jack almost moved on, but for the faint sound he heard, almost like crying. Deciding he couldn't just leave it, Jack moved off the path towards the clearing.

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Charlie stopped. He wasn't sure how much he had taken, just knew it was too much. His vision blurred and he let his head fall forwards.

After about an hour Charlie began to cry. It seemed to hit him then what had happened. He had stopped. Stuck on island in the middle of nowhere, when addiction was his only constant, he'd stopped.

He looked scornfully at the bag in his hand, and flung it away. Tears flooded his face as he finally broke down, feeling the walls that held his emotions in check breaking, he let himself go.

It was not long before he felt something. Hands on his shoulders. A voice calling his name. The voice was familiar, but in his drug induced state, Charlie could not place it. He pulled his head up and looked straight into Jack's eyes. His face paled as he knew he was caught, tears of shame ran down his face and he mumbled, wordless.

Jack looked at Charlie with pity. He sat down and put his arm around him. No words were spoken for a time as Charlie cried into Jack's shoulder. Eventually his tears subsided, and Jack spoke, "What happened Charlie?"

Charlie remained silent, his face buried in Jack's shoulder.

"Come on man. I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong."

Again Jack received no answer. He looked round the clearing, unsure what to do. Obviously Charlie wasn't moving, but the darkness closing in suggested that they should move to the beach or the caves. "Charlie." Jack whispered, "We should go to shelter. It's getting dark."

"You go." Charlie pushed Jack of him, "I'd rather stay here."

"Charlie, I'm not leaving you. Not when you're acting like this."

Charlie moved away from Jack, "Go. I can take care of myself."

"I said I wasn't leaving you, and I meant it."

Charlie just nodded.

Jack sighed; this wasn't going to be easy. "Will you at least tell me what's up?"

"Nothing, Jack…. I'm Fine."

"You're not" Jack replied bluntly.

Charlie was silent.

"Ok, if you're not going to talk I'll make fire."

Charlie stayed where he was, watching Jack build the fire. For once he didn't offer to help, and Jack didn't ask. Eventually the fire was built and Jack pulled a blanket out of his backpack. Sitting on it he looked to Charlie, and gestured for him to come over.

For a second Charlie looked hesitant, but reconsidered as it was already bitterly cold. He sat on the blanket, beside Jack. There was a long silence, neither knowing what to say.

Jack broke the silence, "Do you want anything? Claire said you hadn't eaten."

Charlie shook his head, "No." He stopped, looked at Jack, "Do you have any water?"

Jack handed him a bottle silently. Charlie took a sip and returned it to Jack. Jack was tempted to tell him to drink more, but resisted by instead suggesting the get some sleep.

Charlie rolled onto his side. Jack sighed, noticing Charlie was shivering. "It might be warmer underneath." He suggested.

"I'm fine." Charlie answered.

"You're shivering," Jack answered bluntly. He pulled the blanket out from under Charlie and placed it over him.

"What about you?"

"I'm good. Got another one." Jack pulled out a blanket, grinned at Charlie and lay down to sleep, facing Charlie.

Charlie pretend to be ok with this as he turned over and quickly fell asleep, but Jack's proximity caused feelings to emerge in him that he just couldn't deal with. He closed his eye and tried to block them out.

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Charlie jolted awake. It was dark, and the fire had burned down. He looked round, Jack was asleep. Charlie's body was covered in a thin layer of sweat, his skin was pale and his headaches had returned.

Checking on Jack once more, he moved away from the fire. Once out of sight, he pulled out another bag which was one of the many he carried. In the faint light of the moonlight he once again spread the powder on his hand and inhaled deeply.

His eyes fell closed as he enjoyed the feeling that spread through his body. The joy. The relief. The peace.

Charlie finished what was in his hand, and lay back against a tree, eyes still closed.

"Had enough?"

Charlie jumped up, eyes wide when he heard Jack's voice.

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So that is Chapter One. I hope you like it! Please review, and I will try to update asap!


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Unknown

**Rating: **K+ (may go up)

**Pairing:** Jack / Charlie

**Summary:** Charlie gives into temptation. Can Jack pull him back for the edge of breakdown? Jack / Charlie Slash.

**Chapter:** Two

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

&&&

A silence followed. Long and drawn out. Their eyes connected. For an unknown period of time they just stared.

Charlie's eyes were still wide with shock, while he shivered slightly, partly from fear and partly from the cold. Jack held Charlie in a steady gaze. His face set, eyes hard, almost unforgiving.

"Well?" Jack asked, breaking the silence.

Charlie was silent, but he lowered his head, staring at the bag in his hand. His shivering increased.

Jack pressed on, "Have you had enough?" His voice was almost a shout. Anger seemed to surround Jack. His whole personage changed, teeth whitened against a blood red face, eyes clear and blue to the reddened eyes, hands clasped in fists by the side.

Charlie shook hard from fear, but managed to nod his head.

At this Jack reached over and forcefully removed the bag from Charlie's hand. He looked at it, pushing the powder around with his fingers. Stopping himself, Jack looked straight at Charlie, "I thought you stopped."

Charlie nodded in affirmation, as he felt tears well in his eyes and fall down his face. Jack looked at him for a brief moment, then away as he flung the bag into the fire. Two sets of eyes watched as it burnt red and slowly turned to ash.

The silence was deafening as they continued to stare at the fire. It burned just as bright as moments before, but Charlie swore it was getting brighter. He blinked, and turned away, curling his body from the flames.

Jack never moved, preferring to look into the flames. It hurt that Charlie was taking the drugs again. Hurt so much that Jack himself was shaking. A lone tear felt from his left eye.

But he pulled himself together and hid his emotions, like he did so often around Charlie. In his heart Jack knew there was more than friendship between him and Charlie. His strict upbringing prevented him from believing it.

Jack looked at Charlie's back, Charlie needed him now. So Jack would help him. He nodded to himself, "Charlie… Charlie, Look at me."

Charlie looked at him.

"I'm going to help you." Jack held Charlie's face as he spoke, looking directly in his eyes, "You will beat this."

Charlie just stared at him. His spoke volumes, the emotion there was strong, but Jack could not read it. Eventually Charlie just broke down and cried in Jack's arms. He cried himself to sleep, comfortable and content in Jack's arms.

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Day dawned bright an early for the two men. Jack's red-rimmed eyes watched the area surrounding then. In his arms slept Charlie. His pale skin shone out against Jack's dirty, tanned arms.

The sun shone over Charlie's eyes, waking him from his slumber. He shifted slightly, moving to a more comfortable position, before freezing. A light seemed to enter his eyes as he realised where he was, and remembered how he got there. Almost instantly his shivering and headaches started.

"Calm yourself," Jack said quietly, tightening his grip on Charlie.

Charlie closed his eyes and tried to relax. His symptoms only got worse. "I can't," he stuttered out.

"Just close your eyes," he put his hand over Charlie's forehead, "and lie back on me." He gently pushed Charlie's head back. "Just relax."

Charlie did as he was told. Ever so slowly, he relaxed, breathing deeply to let the stress out. He felt like he was floating, letting himself go. He hardly noticed as the effects of withdrawal slowly faded.

Jack watched. He smiled lightly to himself, seeing Charlie relax. The stress lines in his face faded to reveal Charlie. The true Charlie. Jack smiled at the beauty present. He shook himself. He couldn't think that way, not about another man, and certainly not about Charlie.

Jack allowed Charlie to relax in his arms for a bit longer. Both secretly enjoying the comfort of each other. Eventually their quiet relaxation was broken as the island woke for the day ahead. Birds sang and took off into the sky.

Jack sighed, "We should go."

Charlie nodded, pulling away from Jack. He stood quickly, and fell back. Blood rushed to his head, and he passed out. Jack stared at him. Slowly he pulled him into recovery position, and waited.

Within a couple of minutes, Charlie groaned as he woke up. His eyes fluttered open. Immediately he tried to sit. Jack stopped him, "Don't." His hand pushed Charlie back down, "You could faint again."

Charlie half nodded, and laid his head down again.

"It's probably the withdrawal." Jack explained, "I think you should consider staying here for a few days…" Jack trailed off as Charlie widened his eyes at him, "Just for a bit."

Slowly Charlie dragged himself up to look Jack in the eye, "You want me out of the way? Don't you?!" His voice rose a fraction in anger, "Is that it?"

"No." Jack shook his head sadly, "I just think this is going to be hard. Quitting isn't easy. It will probably be easier on you without the rest of the camp looking on and asking questions."

Charlie just nodded, "So you're going to leave me out here? Alone?" There was a hint of fear in his voice.

Impulsively Jack pulled Charlie to him in a hug, "Of course not!" He said, a little too strongly, "I'll be here with you."

Charlie closed his eyes tight, "You can't. The others need you more."

"No, they don't. You need me Charlie." He pulled back to look him in the eye. "I'm staying with you."

Charlie smiled slightly, "You mean it?"

"Yes."

&&&

It was about midday. Charlie lay curled in the two blankets shivering constantly. Jack watched him like a hawk, waiting for any change or complication. Inside Charlie cried. Hidden in the folds of the blanket, he held a bag. A part of him wished Jack would leave so he could take it; another wished Jack would find it and take it away.

However, fate, it seems, was against Charlie. Jack pulled himself up. "I need to go to the caves Charlie." Charlie stared at him desperately. "I won't be long. I'm just going to explain to the others where we are and grab some supplies."

"n-n-n-no," Charlie stuttered, "They can't know."

Jack nodded slightly and smiled at him, "All I'm going to say is you hurt your leg and I think it would be better if you stayed in one place. I should be able to get the others to leave it."

Charlie looked unconvinced, but agreed anyway. He watched silently as Jack walked off into the woods.

Once he was certain Jack was gone, he pulled the bag out and pushed the powder around within the bag. He could take some, just one sniff and it would all go – the shivering, the pains, everything. But then… could he disappoint Jack so?

Closing his eyes, Charlie could feel Jack's arms around him again; hear the caring words he whispered… He knew he couldn't do it. Jack would know as soon as he returned anyway, and Charlie wanted Jacks respect. He needed Jack's respect.

It was more than that though, he wanted Jack. Not just his company, but the whole of him. His heart, soul and mind. Charlie had accepted a long time ago that he was gay, but never before had felt such a, such a, connection with one man. Yes, Charlie knew what this meant. He had known for a while. He loved Jack, but could Jack love him? He didn't know.

Charlie squeezed the bag. Anger filled him. This powder, he rolled it in his fingers, controlled his life. Without really thinking Charlie took the bag and flung it into the fire. He breathed deeply. The pain of the withdrawal was as strong as ever, but the relief that filled him was stronger. Smiling, Charlie lay down and closed his eyes. Sleep came easy to him, even in the heat of midday.

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Jack calmly entered the caves area, only to be surprised by the attention he got. It seemed they had all noticed his long disappearance. As quickly as possible he calmed them. He told them Charlie was hurt and he had stayed with him because it was easier than trying to move him.

Pushing past to where his stuff lay, he found Kate. She sat quietly, her arms hugged one knee to her, her chin resting on it. "I don't believe you."

Jack stared at her, then looked round to make sure no-one was listening, "What do you mean?"

She pulled herself up to look him in the eye, "If Charlie was hurt, you'd bring him here. The supplies are here, and you could use the help to look after him." She paused, taking in his dishevelled condition. "You're hiding something from them," she gestured to the crowd outside, "I want to know what."

"It's none of your business." He answered smartly, walking to his bags and selecting what he needed to help Charlie.

"It may not be mine, but it is Claire's." Her voice was steady, but Jack could hear and undertone of it, of what? He didn't know.

Jack finished filling his backpack with sufficient supplies and turned to look at Kate. "Patient-Doctor confidentiality" was all he said.

Kate pushed him hard, "I don't care!" She almost shouted, attracting everyone's attention.

Jack held her gaze, challenging her to challenge him once more. She backed down as Locke, Hurley and Michael approached.

"Problem?" Michael asked, looking form Jack to Kate.

"No," Jack replied quietly. Michael looked at Kate. She just nodded.

Jack raised his voice so everyone could hear, "Yesterday Charlie was hurt. I found him in the woods. It is better for him that he heals there. I will be staying with him." He paused, considering his words, "It you need me; Kate will find me." He nodded the Kate, took her arm and led her to the waterfall.

Once out of each shot, their voices masked by the sound of water he spoke to her, "What I'm about to tell is completely secret. Tell anyone, even Claire, and there will be consequences."

Kate could feel the threat in his voice. She knew he was serious. "I won't tell a soul Jack. I swear."

He nodded, and started to fill his water bottles. "Charlie's in trouble Kate. His withdrawal is worse than ever."

She started at him, "H-He's been fine…"

Jack nodded, "I think not." His eyes were serious, "Charlie's been hiding just how bad it is. It's catching up on him. That's why I need to take the time to heal him. Make sure he is over this once and for all."

"Oh," she sighed, "What do I tell Claire?"

"What I told everyone else. If she needs details," Jack though for a moment, "He fell and got a branch stuck in his leg. It should give me enough time to heal Charlie."

Kate nodded; she knew there was more to this. Jack was protecting Charlie, and not just because he was a doctor. Kate could see it, and had been able to for some time, Jack loved Charlie. More than either knew.

Jack stood, "I'll be four miles east from this spot." He left.

Kate walked to the spot, and marked it with her jacket. She looked around, memorising the spot in relation to everything, then she took of towards the beach. She needed to find Claire before someone else did.

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That took a while, but it is finally up. I won't make any promises of updateing soon, but will try my best. Thanks to all those who reviewd.

xx


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Unknown

**Title:** Unknown

**Rating: **K+ (may go up)

**Pairing:** Jack / Charlie

**Summary:** Charlie gives into temptation. Can Jack pull him back for the edge of breakdown? Jack / Charlie Slash.

**Chapter:** Three

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC.

&

Kate walked towards the beach. She hadn't yet decided what to tell Claire. Although she had given her word to Jack, Charlie meant a lot to Claire. In Kate's opinion it was best she knew. It was complicated, but then was it her decision to make? She didn't know.

As she walked towards the beach, she met Sun. "Hey."

Sun just nodded in greeting.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked.

"Nothing." She replied. "Claire's worried. She needs to know what's going on. I think… I think she thinks Charlie's using."

Kate nodded, but didn't say anything. "Jack found him."

"Is he ok?"

"I'm not sure. Jack said he's been hurt. Doesn't want to move him."

Sun looked sharply at Kate, but said no more. They walked slowly back to the beach, neither speaking. Sun had guessed that there was more to this than met the eye. Kate was trying to decide what to do.

When they did arrive Claire was sleeping. She looked so peaceful. There was a gentle smile on her face. It was then Kate realised, she couldn't tell her the truth. She couldn't take that smile off of her face. No, when Claire woke, Kate would tell her Jack's story and let her believe, even for a while, that there was hope.

&

Meanwhile Jack had returned to Charlie. It had taken him a lot longer than expected. When people had heard he would be gone for a few days they had mobbed him. Every minor complaint had become a major issue. What if things escalated while he was gone? How would they cope?

Almost three hours after he had left Charlie he returned, unsure what to explain. There was a pain deep in his gut. He felt horrible for leaving Charlie alone for so long, but getting away had been next to impossible. And what hurt him the most? It was the doubt. What if Charlie had more Drugs? Was he about to find a drugged up Charlie, or a Charlie near death from the withdrawal?

As he stepped into the clearing his eyes landed on Charlie's form. Charlie's back was to him and he shook ever so slightly. There was something about his hunched position that sent a shiver of panic through Jack. Rushing forward he grabbed Charlie and swung him round.

Charlie's face was ashen white. There was dried blood running from a broken nose, staining his mouth red. His eyes were wide, and blood shot.

"Charlie! Charlie! Look at me!" Jack shouted.

He gently lay Charlie on the mat. He still shook slightly. "Hold on." Water. Jack pulled a bottle from his bag. Lifting Charlie into sitting position, he poured the water into Charlie's mouth. What had happened here? It definitely wasn't the withdrawal. His nose had been broken, but how?

Jack held Charlie to him, giving him sips of water frequently, but no too much. He cleaned him, but left the nose as it was. After a while Charlie began to wake up. It was like coming out of a trance. He slowly returned to reality, taking in his surroundings. Jack watched, watching his adjust as he came to.

"You came back?" Charlie asked. His voice was rough, pain ridden. There was vulnerability there, as if he had doubted Jack would return.

"Of course. Took me a bit longer than expected, sorry for that."

Charlie pulled off of him. "You shouldn't have come back." He pushed himself up, wobbling slightly on his feet as he moved away, his back to Jack.

"What do you mean?" Jack hadn't expected the sudden hostility, but it made sense. Charlie probably felt abandoned.

"They need you. That's why you took so long." There was bitterness in his voice, regret and something else. Something Jack couldn't quite identify, but he thought it was despair. "You shouldn't be here. You don't want to be."

Jack was silent for a long time. He was unsure what to say, how to make it better but he had to try. Climbing to his feet, Jack stood behind Charlie, who shook even worse now. He was crying again. Jack pulled Charlie back against him, so they were wedged close together. "I'm here, with you, because I want to be. There's no where else I would rather be, Charlie."

Charlie's sobs increased at Jack's words. "You don't understand." He wailed, the sound breaking Jack's heart.

"Oh Charlie." Jack pulled him close, melting into the embrace.

&

Kate was with Claire when she woke from her nap. "How's Charlie? Did they find him?" Claire asked almost immediately.

"Yeah," Kate replied. "He's hurt his leg. Jack's with him, in the forest." Her words were halted, almost unsure. "They're gonna stay there for a while. Make sure Charlie's good before they move him."

Claire sat back. "It's not drugs then?"

Kate looked at her. "Jack didn't say, but I presume not." It was a lie, and it killed Kate to tell it. She liked Claire, and hated how much this would hurt her.

Claire grinned. She seemed so innocent, so happy. Kate wanted to shake her, wanted Claire to doubt Kate's word, but Claire believed her. "I'm glad." She said quietly.

"Here." Kate handed her some water, before climbing to her feet and walking away. She couldn't sit with her right now. Her eyes led her back to the caves, and in her mind she could see the spot Jack had marked out. She hoped they wouldn't need it, but at the same time, she wanted to go to Jack, if only to see what was happening.

She sat at the shore, staring out as the waves clashed. The sea looked quite rough today, but she needed to clear her head. Standing up she tugged of her t-shirt and jeans, leaving her in her underwear. Then she ran into the sea, enjoying the bitter freshness of the water.

As she swam, she relaxed, breathing slowly, letting the water relax her. She didn't understand why this all upset her so much. It wasn't fair to say it was Charlie's fault, but it was. So much wasn't what she wanted. Whether they believed it or, she did like Jack, a lot. And Charlie had taken him from her, in more ways that even he knew.

&

They had been silent for a long time. Charlie at far side of the clearing from Jack, his back to him. Jack paced slowly through the clearing, being as quiet as possible without actually being quiet.

Jack was confused, unsure how to handle the situation. He had known this would be difficult, but Charlie wasn't giving him anything. Charlie pushed, and Jack found it hard to remain standing still. There wasn't much Jack could do to make him better, until Charlie let him. Jack was stuck. Treating to symptoms didn't cure the disease, Jack knew that, but Charlie needed to want to be cured.

Jack sighed. "Charlie." He didn't move. "Charlie it's going to start again. You need to take some pain killers."

Charlie nodded, but didn't move. Jack took some diazepam out of his bag, looked at it for second, before handing two tablets to him. Those should help. Charlie took them without a word.

Jack sat down beside him, and looked at him. "Do you want my help?"

Charlie looked at him quickly. "What?"

"You heard me. Do you want me to help you?"

Charlie stared at him. "I - " He stopped, unsure what to say. Did he want Jack's help? It wasn't something he'd thought of before, he had assumed he had no choice. "I don't know."

"Then there is nothing I can do." Jack spoke quietly, even though the words killed him. "There is no point if you don't want to feel better."

Charlie was silent. He could think of nothing he could say. A part of him still loved the drugs, the freedom they gave him, the control and how strong he felt, how together. They felt so much better than anything else ever had.

Jack got up to leave, but Charlie stopped him. "I don't want you to go."

Jack looked back at Charlie. He looked so desperate, so lost, that is broke Jack's heart. "I'm not helping you stay like this Charlie. Making you detox now will only help now. You need to want my help, you need let me help you, you need to let me in Charlie. Then I can help you." He looked at Charlie hopefully, hoping beyond hope that Charlie would ask for help, would let him in. This meant so much more to him than it should, he knew that, but he didn't know why. Not yet anyway.

There was a long silence from Charlie. "I don't think I can do that."

That was something. Jack sat down again, closer to Charlie this time. "Nothing worth doing is easy Charlie. This isn't easy, but I'll help you. You don't need the drugs. You're so much better then them." He put his arm around Charlie. "And I'll be with you the whole time."

Charlie shook him off, Jack let him. "That's not what I meant." He looked at Jack. "I don't think I can, I can…. I can't let you in." Charlie turned away. He felt so ashamed. Jack wanted to help him, but Charlie just couldn't tell him. How do you tell someone like Jack you're in love with them? It just didn't work that way.

That hurt Jack, so much more than he'd like to admit. "I-" He started, but could find no words to say. He felt broken, like something inside had been ripped out. "Is there someone… someone else?"

Charlie looked at him and shook his head. No, he did want to tell Jack, he just couldn't.

"You can trust me Charlie."

"I know."

"I won't tell anyone."

"I know."

"I won't judge you."

"I Know."

Jack stopped. What did Charlie want from him that he couldn't give him? He sighed, maybe Charlie didn't want him. Charlie and Hurley were close. Maybe Charlie would prefer to take to Hurley. "I'll leave then." He didn't want to leave.

"What?"

Jack took a deep breath. This hurt him so much, that Charlie didn't want him. "Obviously there is someone else you would prefer to talk to. I think you need to talk to someone. Maybe Hurley, or Claire?"

Charlie looked at him. He was so shocked, and couldn't help but feel betrayed. "No Jack. I don't want to talk to them."

"Ok." Jack stood up, turning his back to Charlie, so he couldn't see the tears running down Jack's face. He no idea why this got to him so much, well he did, but he couldn't let that in. It was wrong, in so many ways. "Who would you like to talk to about this? Locke, or Boone?"

"No. I – I would like to talk to you."

Jack whipped his head round. "What?"

Charlie stared at him, seeing the tear tracks running down his face. "Are you ok?"

Jack stared at him for a second. "I'm fine. Just got something in my eye."

"Yeah," Charlie muttered.

It took Jack a minute to regain his composure. He was the doctor here, Charlie was his patient, he couldn't cry over a patient, even if it was Charlie. "would you like me to stay then? To help you."

Charlie looked away, but nodded.

Jack couldn't keep the smile off of his face. "Ok then. I'll stay." He sat down where he was. With that decided, there was much to do. He could explain the detox to Charlie, but he had a feeling Charlie knew it all. It seemed too soon to start really talking, they needed to feel comfortable around each other again. Jack would wait, even as he burned with curiosity. What was so important to Charlie to keep hidden? Why couldn't he trust Jack?

&

Kate climbed back out of the water, feeling refreshed. She could see Claire talked to Sun and smiling, Sayid was with Shannon, but it was Sawyer she looked for. He was no-where to be seen. Sighing she grabbed her clothes and walked away from them.

She saw Sawyer chopping wood in the forest. Dressing she walked over to him. "Did you hear the news?"

"Jack and drugs'r'us are out in the forest doing it?" He grinned at her.

"It's not the drugs Sawyer, and I'm pretty sure there not doing itr."

"Do I sense a hint of jealousy? You got your eye on the doc?"

"Don't Sawyer. He's not strung that way."

"Isn't he freckles?"

Kate looked at him and walked away.

"It's always the drug Freckles." Sawyer called after her.

"What?" She turned round.

"It is." And he went back to chopping wood.

Kate shook her head, he was right, but she couldn't tell him that. What if they were doing it though? Kate wasn't so ok with that. Nothing against gays, just not Jack. They would be good together.

&

Whoa that took me ages to get up. Sorry about that. I lost this chapter, so it took me a while to get it back to something I actually like. Anyway I hope you like and would love to hear what you think.

Dervla xx


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